Sunday, April 29, 2012

Now That's Salemanship! Nom de Escroquerie - YABA

From "The Down Button"*
We're doing a Double Dip today, Combing a dictionary entry and a Daily Doozy on a new acronym.

The more that consumers, legitimate investors (e.g. human beings), and those -- as defined by the business community "burdensome" -- regulators cry for more light on business transactions, the global business community responds with its typical "piss up a rope," going deeper under cover in all aspects of their dealings.

Ergo, with the introduction of another formal term Nom de Escroquerie for the practitioners, we've come up with yet-another "yet-another" acronym, which we're rolling out as a Double Dip article today.

"YABA" stands for "Yet Another Business Alias."

For the benefit of those less advanced in years than some of us, there was a time when business was done in communities, by people who who were a part of the community. Yes, we know you think that this is B.S. something that never really happened because YOU never saw it on television. But it's true.

And to kick off YABA we're introducing Nom de Escroquerie (look it up, if you're on this page we know you have Google) for all of  the little grubsnots in south Florida who devote thousands of hours looking for new ways to get elderly people to give them credit card numbers over the telephone.

We have an actual recording of a "lawyer" in a final attempt to close one of these deals and get a credit card number with this phrase... (we may actually add this recording to a post at a later date after the legal research is complete. Apparently Florida has some laws regarding phone recording to protect these parasites, but this guy KNEW he was talking to a recorder.)

"This is [redacted] Come on, be a man and call me back."

Be a man? Now That's Salemanship!

- Posted using BlogPress from Padrig the iPad

*image - Ron Lynch Chalice in a frame from "The Down Button", a Rick Lynxwood Film (Woodson/Fauble Productions)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Daily Doozy - .ffws




FFWS or FFTLD (usually seen as .ffws or .fftld) - Is a Duckieism for a Fake Freakin' Web Site. Sometimes we have a company, organization, or location in our world that would be a place that would have a website  but they aren't important enough for us to actually go out and build the danged thing.
Make sense? Nah, not to us either, but that's the way our boss wants it to work.

Hasta maƱana


Daily Doozy - The Acronym 1CR

1CR is a shortcut for The One Class Rule.


Having nothing to do with social class implications, this rule is what normally defines the key difference between government bureaucrats and corporate bureaucrats.

A government bureaucrat at least CLAIMS to have attended one ethics class in college, or university, or whatever the hell they call the school they went to.

Whereas, it's become obvious of late that most modern American business schools* (aside from teaching frat boys how to loudly change "No Means Yes, Yes Means ****," are proud of the fact that they don't let ethics muddy the waters or obscure their focus.

*Not such a big deal, we're pretty sure that the Swiss and other European business schools have been ignoring ethics for generations. (Though, we are happy to report, this may be changing.)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Politico of the Day - KSM

The Gidiot
For almost eight years, Colorado Congressman Thaddeus Emory Gideon's staff appended the letters KSM to all of his official correspondence.

For that same eight year period, Gideon always got quizzical looks when he publicly stated that he was extremely proud to have been "so recognized by our little British cousins." Although 10 Downing Street's official response was...

"Honor the little man? We've never even heard of him."

This was, of course, before he called for severed relationships with the British because they had the audacity to audit the expenses of British Members of Parliament (MPs) and take punitive action against miscreants.

Shortly after that debacle, an unidentified staff member placed the following note on his desk.

"Dear Gidiot,
KSM is not an honor from the British government. It stands for King, Sphynctorical Memoranda because you are always blowing smoke out of your ass.


Anonymous Staffer
PS, I quit."


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Daily Doozy - EvCross America

First: OK, we missed yesterday. Even though we do believe in paying our fair share of taxes to support things like streets, bridges, protecting people from nasty chemicals, thieves, and dangerous workplaces... and the billion other good things our tax dollars do, when we can keep then out of the hands of the freakin' lobbyists and investment bankers...we're still always rushing at the last minute to get the things filed.

Ergo, no Doozy yesterday. But here is one in the -- shall we say spirit -- of things for today....

EvCross America is market slang (this IS America) for Evangelical Crossway, the huge organization that recently partnered with the huger organization Acolytica to form the MTLTA SuperPAC. Between these two organizations, MTLTA has committed over $3 billion, give or take a .5 or so -- after all, this is almost real money -- as SEED cash for supported candidates. Learn more about MTLTA SuperPAC.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Daily Doozy - Need a Job? How About PpE?

CheapCXOs has just announced a new position in executive search called a PpE or Psychopathology Evaluator, based on recent information about the C-Suites of the world.

Sounds interesting to us. If you're looking for a new challenge, you might check it out!

note: since cheapcxos.com is not a real company, these are not real positions --- hah!


LSD? What? In a Financial Dictionary?

Ok, no, this isn't some kind of a 60s flashback thing. Well, part of it might seem to be, but our definitions here are more of a commentary on the happenings in the modern world.

TM ChaliceMedia
1. LSD ell-ess-dee, Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. A nasty little derivative (no not THAT kind) from rye ergot, whatever the hell ergot is sounds like mold to me... I could look it up, but don't want to take the time right now and I'm sure that you have immediate access to a search engine of choice [but I digress].

Anyway, an organization called Acolytica uses it regularly as a mode of control in what they call "conditioning" to prepare their followers for what they call "The Harvest" which is supposed to happen soon in what they call "The Future." The Acolytica boys give it the cute little euphemism "Leary."

TM ChaliceMedia
2. LSD, in a world facing Armageddon (the bloodhound NOT the big event), this stands for the Triad who runs The Other Place, made up of Luci, Ese, and D (Mr. Evil Himself). OK, so the actual construction of the acronym is a little loose and free on this one.

And the reason these things are included in a Financial Dictionary is because they are RELEVANT to finance in the modern world. After all, Mr. Evil Himself sat in on the creation of the Derivative as a specifically defined unit of financial bullsh*t.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Daily Doozy - Nom de Trompeur

A Nom de Trompeur is an alias used for doing business, primarily used in deals on the shadier side.
Examples:
"The company's Chief Conscience Officer, aka I Can Live With That Guy, uses a nom de trompeur in all public communications."
"The tech services woman in Bangladesh, who trained in a midwestern U.S. accent for several months, uses the nom de trompeur 'Cissy from Cincinnati'."
"The signature on your bank's new 79 page TOS (terms of service) is a nom de trompeur."
- Posted using BlogPress from Padrig the iPad

Friday, April 13, 2012

The New Derivative 2.0 - Fountains of Fees

artjazz BigStockPhoto
The reporters at Duckie Dic have unearthed the following segment (*caution, colorful language) of memorandum from Vik Torino, CEO and Chairman of Banco de Puerco (motto: "In NYC, where the f*ck else?")

From page 1073 - "Yeah, the c*********g Feds tell us that we have to communicate all of these new fees and give people a way to opt out of them. Well here at BdP, I'll tell you how we OPT F*****G OUT. You have to M***********G DIE!. We'll put it in print so small that the f*****g Hubble can't see it and require three separate and distinct steps to opt out of anything. (See details on pages 1181-1209 of Appendix Q)

Torino has just recently been released from several months of "Federal Hospitality" in a West Virginia country club. As a result, the amount of blather coming forth from Torino's PR mouthpiece as been nearly nil for over 24 months.

Apparently the mouthpiece (pictured) had gotten so far out of practice that the first Press Release since Torino was turned loose from the joint was actually supposed to be a CONFIDENTIAL BdP Internal communication.

We can pretty well assume that she won't be jetting around with Torino for a while.