The New Derivative 2.0 - Fountains of Fees

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The reporters at Duckie Dic have unearthed the following segment (*caution, colorful language) of memorandum from Vik Torino, CEO and Chairman of Banco de Puerco (motto: "In NYC, where the f*ck else?")

From page 1073 - "Yeah, the c*********g Feds tell us that we have to communicate all of these new fees and give people a way to opt out of them. Well here at BdP, I'll tell you how we OPT F*****G OUT. You have to M***********G DIE!. We'll put it in print so small that the f*****g Hubble can't see it and require three separate and distinct steps to opt out of anything. (See details on pages 1181-1209 of Appendix Q)

Torino has just recently been released from several months of "Federal Hospitality" in a West Virginia country club. As a result, the amount of blather coming forth from Torino's PR mouthpiece as been nearly nil for over 24 months.

Apparently the mouthpiece (pictured) had gotten so far out of practice that the first Press Release since Torino was turned loose from the joint was actually supposed to be a CONFIDENTIAL BdP Internal communication.

We can pretty well assume that she won't be jetting around with Torino for a while.